Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dumb Question Week

I am sitting outside as I write this today, it's so nice out I couldn't resist, but the glare off my laptop is very distracting, so forgive my typos.
We did 3 lessons in one last week, and next week is a panel of speakers (adoptive parents, foster kids who have aged out of care, case workers, etc.)-we're excited about that. Then the final class is sort of "Adoption 101"-cause I guess they figure we are serious at that point. People in the class are starting to get really anxious, we can tell, and there are a lot of questions now, a lot of dumb questions too-so many that Kevin and I started keeping track of dumb questions just for our amusement. Not that we don't have dumb questions sometimes, but you have to realize that most of these people have not been parents before(although some have and they still ask dumb questions)and they are just going to have to start strong parenting from the get go with these kids, instead of a slow, steady build up like with an infant. They just have no idea what that's going to be like, and so they ask lots of questions, which we really do understand. I remember before we started our MAPP classes we would say half jokingly to each other, "We have 4 kids, why do we need parenting classes?!". But I must admit we have learned a lot. We feel more confident about how to handle misbehavior and we have seen a difference in our parenting and our kids' behavior. You aren't a good parent just because you have kids, which is why there are so many kids in foster care. So we have been humbled a bit by the class and are very glad that they take the steps to ensure that these kids find a good, loving, permanent family.
I have a cute story to share.....I was in the car with Kody earlier this week and he asked where our baby was. I said "What baby, we don't have a baby! You're the baby!", then he said "No, when are we getting our baby?"Then I clued in that he was talking about adopting. I said "Oh are you talking about the kid we are adopting? and he said "Yeah". So I said, "Well I don't know if we're getting a baby, do you want a baby?" and he said "Yeah, I like babies!". That was just so sweet to me! I don't know where he got the idea of a baby....we have never said we were adopting a baby, but it seems like he understands that when someone "gets a new kid in the family" it's usually a baby. Then, we were at Walmart yesterday and we walked by the baby section and he pointed at a cute little outfit and said "We can get that for our baby!".I don't have the heart to tell him that we probably aren't getting a baby, but it's just so sweet to me! It's also kind of reassuring that he understands,as much as a 4 year old can, what is going on.
So we ,well mostly I, have been starting to think about things like bunkbeds and a bigger car, but we aren't buying them yet....we still have lots of time. The numbers were kind of disappointing.......the MAPP instructors told us there are about 130 kids available for adoption right now in Hillsborough County, there are about 60 families waiting to be matched(but they did say that most of them are waiting for a 0-3 year old), plus in our class there will be another 20 or so families added to that. Oh and of the 130 kids about 60 or 70 have severe medical or emotional needs. So it may be awhile for us to be matched, we already know we can't handle severe special needs. But I've said before, we know the Lord had our child all picked out, so we'll trust Him to match us! He knows us and our new child the best, we just have to be patient! Untilnext time...........

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