Monday, June 6, 2011

Frustration and more.......

I know I haven't blogged in a while, and to be honest I really don't want to be writing this now, but I think it will help to get some of my frustration out!
We still do not have an approved home study, and I'm starting to wonder if we ever will. First, we had to get our cat's vaccines updated, no big deal, but now we are trying to get some things from Kevin's background check worked out. Many of you may not know that before Kevin met me he was quite a trouble maker, not his fault really, since he practically raised himself, but still he does have a couple of minor things on his criminal record. One of these things was just a false accusation from an angry ex-girlfriend, and the charges were dropped, once the true story was discovered, but there apparently is no proof of this on file. The only information we can come up with is "no information on file". My aunt works for the Sherrif's Dept. and did a check, she can't find anything either! How can it come up on his record if there is no information on it!? I just feel so hopeless right now. So I'm starting to worry now, that this may be it-we won't be able to get approved and won't be able to adopt. Please know that I don't blame this on Kevin or resent him in any way, this is just something we have to do together-like we always do. It may as well been on my record, it wouldn't matter, we're both in this together.  The Lord has given me some scripture, faithfully, everyday, to help encourage me and keep me focused on him, but honestly I am not allowing it to sink in and change my focus, at least not completely. I mean, I know that if He can place stars in the sky, He can handle this, but why don't I feel it? It seems so silly-this "accusation" happened 20 years ago! This is just something I have absolutely no control over, so I really need to give it over to God, but I'm just so frustrated! Please just pray for me, and our situation and hopefully I'll have better news soon! Thanks!