Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Lots of learning

We are just plowing along at our MAPP classes. I will tell you they are a real pain. Kevin leaves from work to get there, then I leave our house at 5 and usually don't get there till after 6 (depending on traffic). It's always so hot in the room, and at first they talked about such negative things, but it is getting better. Last night I had to go alone, our babysitter was at a retreat so Kevin stayed home, and I left the class actually excited about what we had learned. The first few classes it almost seemed like they were trying to scare us, or discourage us, they talked about how most of the kids will have behavior issues and how we (adoptive parents) will just basically have to deal with it. Last night we talked about attachment, and how the failure to attach properly, because of lack of trust, causes the kids to have arrested development, or stop developing emotionally past the point that they are at the time they experience loss. Which is part of the reason they have behavior issues. But it's fixable, you just have to earn their trust, and show them that they can count on you. These kids have never had anyone they can trust, it's just so sad.
So we will need a huge support system, to encourage us, and just let us vent when we're stressed. We have so many great friends and family members that I am confident will support, encourage, guide and pray for us, but sometimes we forget to ask. So I'm asking you, please don't feel like you are being nosy, or intruding, please ask us how we are doing and if we need help, give us advice and just call or drop by. We are not trying to be "super parents" and we realize that it truly does take a village to raise a child, so we welcome any help we can get.
On another note, we have been working on our family profile, which is everything you could ever care to know about our family and the way Kevin and I grew up, also the type of child we see joining our family. We will be having our background check done very soon as well. At the end of our MAPP classes (the end of March) we will have our homestudy done and the matching process begins. They really focus on finding a family for the child, not a child for the family, they know these kids and try to find the best fit for them. We also know that God has hand picked our child for us, before they were born, and He doesn't make mistakes!
Thanks for reading, I'll update soon!

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