Still no clear path

Well, we attended the Bethany information meeting yesterday. It was very informative and the staff is great and knowledgeable, but it didn't "seal the deal" like I had hoped. See, I am so drawn to international adoption and the meeting just really made me feel even more drawn to those kids. Does that mean that God is calling us to adopt internationally or am I just fascinated with the idea? We still have a huge monetary commitment looming over us if we go that route, plus there is the reality that we will not know much, if any, of the child's history-medical, family, any history. With foster kids, we know the kids histories, but they are horrible histories, they have experienced serious pain and loss, and we will be responsible for bearing the brunt of the outcome of that. How will that affect our kids? Can we handle that? Am I not trusting God enough to bring us the child that is right for us?
Kevin's been having some conversations with God and I really think God is speaking to him, but Kevin just needs to trust what God is telling him. He often doubts that his thoughts could be prompting from God, and then he fails to act. But God is great and God is good, so I'm pretty sure He can handle Kevin's doubts and make something amazing happen in spite of them!
But on another subject, Kevin and I had a nice date on Friday. Bailey spent the night at a friend's house and the other 3 stayed the night at my parents-the first time they have all been gone for the night! We went to dinner at Outback and ran into an old neighbor from FishHawk. Although the conversation with the neighbor was tough, he has recently been divorced and it's so hard to see so many people going through that lately, we had a nice time. The conversation with our old neighbor really helped us to see how blessed we are that we are still so crazy in love, even after 14 years of marriage and 4 kids. We have such a commitment to each other and our family, and we try to love as self-lessly as we can, always putting each other's needs above our wants. It takes communication, and respect to consistently be able to connect and be on the same team, and it's not always easy, but it's worth it! I think that is a huge strength of ours that will definitely help as we journey through this adoption process.
So thanks for caring enough to read all of my rambling on, and we would appreciate your continued prayers for wisdom and discernment throughout this journey. Thanks for making the journey with us, it's good to know we have so many people that love and support us!